Enough is Enough

I am so tried of the way I have been living my life at 50% sometimes less, and all I do is make excuses and feel depressed even when I know that my life is the way it is solely because of the decisions, the tiny bad decisions that I make over and over. Those decisions keep me down and depressed. Why and I so afraid to give 100%, I feel the fear deep inside me and it makes me keep living at such a low level. It's like I am waiting to be saved. Well no one is going to save me but me.