Here I am again in a place in my life where many pieces are broken and the steady path I desire so badly is not there. I know the person I dream I am to become if I continue living on this is earth is inside me, she is always there even when I want to give up so badly. With all the years of excuses, failures, let downs. I have build this unhealthy and un productive barrier around my true self. I believe one of my downfalls is the fact that I am a great starter but a horrible finisher. All of my issues with sticking to my commitments of changing my life have made me doubt myself even tonight as I am writing. I have goals that are so grand that I know in order for to me succeed and attain these goals I need to dig deep and pull out the superstar I know lies within me. I have yet to fully give up even with all of the shit I have put myself through.
I am afraid that I do not know how to dig deep and unleash my power inside. sometimes it feels so hard to reach. This taunts me everyday I feel I am not living to my full potential, and to be completely honest I don't know what my full potential truly is. Do I even need to know right now or can I just wing it?
My life feels like it has had a huge snowball affect and it is a bad snowball. I am not ready to give up on myself, I do believe I can change I just don't how I will do this.
I hope this journal becomes a constant part of my life among others things, If it does it can aid in the greatest change of my life.
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